still waiting

on those after pics of the living room, dining room, kitchen areas (oh, and the office).

we are currently waiting on the mantel to finish the fire place, then we can hang the tv and wire everything. we also need to build our butcher block for the island, finish the up lights and under cabinet lights for the cabinets in the kitchen, hang the chandelier in the dining room, find and hang some pendant lights over the island in the kitchen and put in the crown molding in the living room.

oh, and then we need some window treatments pretty much everywhere. then we will put up some after pics.

in the mean time, i have not forgotten about you (the you is to my blog, since i am sure all 3 of my reader have left). i will post more to you soon.

make up gift

so i know i have been seriously slacking on getting the final pics of the house up here. i think that is mostly because i am seriously slacking on getting the house finished, so images of the finished house are tough to come by.

to try and appease you all, i wanted to write a quick post about an artist i am currently obsessed with. her name is lissie - just lissie, like cher or jewel - and she is fantastic.

i first heard her when she opened for ray lamontagne at the orpheum theater in la. she was great live and a perfect opener for ray. i got home and immediately purchased her ep why you runnin'. it was really good, the title track being the stand out for me, but didn't have the song that was my favorite when we saw her live. then, it happened.

it will be the first song on her upcoming album, which you can bet your sweet you-know-what i will be buying when it drops. it's called when i'm alone and it's amazing. check the official video below.



and as an added bonus, she does a cover of lady gaga's bad romance that is stunning. seriously, she might be my favorite artist of the moment. here's the video for bad romance that she recorded and released on youtube.



please take a moment and enjoy. she really is fantastic...and great live.

just a girl and her violin

this is seriously incredible. enjoy.

house saga: during pics part two

so here are the latest and greatest pics from the house. it is being fumigated right now, so i have a little time off tonight from work, but we still have to pick materials out and get people scheduled to come in. still, the break is much needed let me tell you.

these images are from 5 days ago. i will more up at the end of the week, once the tent comes off. they were taken at night, so be generous when judging my photographic eye.

this is our kitchen all dry-walled with the slider in place on the left and paint going on

the fireplace has since been demoed and the walls painted

closet in its new place

slider in the dining room installed and the first coat of paint on

dining room from the living room. that is a mossy green kind of color. the picture doesn't do the color justice.

more images to come, with cabinets and paint finished. man this has been a whirlwind. stay tuned. we are about 10 days from move in and there is still a TON to do.

house saga: during pics part one

as promised, here are some pictures i took yesterday. there is still a ton happening in the next few days: electrical today, insulation tomorrow, stucco today and tomorrow, dry wall on friday. i'll have some more pictures on monday.

for now, here's the progress:

here is the gutted kitchen with the window moved and set and the old hole framed over

the window in its new home and the hole where the slider will go

new fireplace in the living room with my father-in-law hard at work

entry closet moved and the dining room in the background. you can also see the framing for the slider on the right

more pictures on monday. it will look totally different. still under budget and ahead of schedule. yay!

house saga: before pics

so i finally had some time to get my camera battery charged enough to pull our before shots off of it. tonight i'll take some "in progress" shots, which will look pretty cool because the house is basically all framing and exposed plumbing, electrical and duct work. it's pretty fun. anyway, here are the shots:

here is our dilapidated house front the day we closed escrow



all of the next shots are what will become our great room, the kitchen, dining room and living room together:

this was the view from the front door. that wall is now gone

again, that wall on the right is gone and the coat closet was moved to the corner of that brown wall. the corner right in the center of the picture is also gone, that room is now the dining room and is open to both the living room and the kitchen

this is the kitchen side of the wall we removed. this entire kitchen was gutted

the window on the right and the sink in front of it are now where the oven was. the oven was moved to where the window was in this shot. again, the cabinets are all gone and there will be an island in there

this view of our neighbor's camper is one of the reasons the window was moved. the more practical reason was so that we could move the sliding door to the dining room and be able to see the kids playing in the back yard from the kitchen. but the camper is just ugly.

that sliding door there was moved about three feet to the left and that wall with the cabinet on it is no longer. that is now our dining room.

finally, this was the fifth bedroom that is now our dining room as seen from the doorway, the doorway that is also no longer.

and there she goes. our first installment of the house rebuilding saga. so far, praise the Lord Jesus, we are ahead of schedule and under budget. if you are familiar with construction at all, that is no small miracle. i pray the miracle continues through the end of the project.

with my camera now fully charged, i will take some more pics tonight of the progress. check back tomorrow for those shots.

more house stuff

so we were running around like maniacs yesterday trying to get all our docs signed and notarized so we could start work on the house tomorrow. God bless our realtor and his patience. he really helped to fix a bad situation that wasn't really his fault to begin with. so thanks for that. and the escrow agent, jolene diaz was really nice and helpful. so jolene, if you ever google yourself (does anyone else ever do that? i had to stop trying, there are like 756 guys - and 3 girls - named adam steele in the united states) and this blog turns up - thank you!

today we get the keys. tomorrow and sunday we demo the whole front area of the house, including the kitchen. then we close escrow on monday.

here is where we stand on the place:
-found out the heater doesn't work and there is no a/c...just before summer. cost of new stuff (with a stellar deal...thanks to my father in law and his subs) - 4500. awesome!
-found out there are termites. we may need to tent the house. 2k. sweet!
-found out the pipes are galvanized, not copper. couple thousand more. ok!
-cabinets - thanks to erick corsa from rocky peak for a great price and a wonderful attitude about the work. seriously one of the best guys around. erick, same as jolene, if you google your name and read this...thanks! anyway, cabinets - 7000 - 8500
-counter tops - anywhere from 1000 to 4000 installed. we need to shop this out.
-flooring is 8 bucks a foot, for either 580 ft2 or 1520 ft2...so either 4500 or 11000. big difference, i know.
-appliances could work for the time being, and that is great. may have to wait on these and upgrade later. looking at around 4000 for all stainless steel stuff.
-sink and fixtures haven't really been priced out yet, but those can be reasonable or crazy, depending on where we go. most likely somewhere in the middle and definitely at least 1k.
-still waiting on the bids for the dry wall and electrical. don't know where to put this.

so for you mathemagicians who have been counting as you go, we are looking at about 17k if we do the bare minimum and about 40k if we go with everything we want right now. needless to say, the 40k ain't happening. we only have about 23k to work with. so we will be cutting some stuff out for sure.

owning our own home - priceless!

i will be posting before pics of the whole house on monday as well as some pics from the demo process.

stay posted for more on the saga of buying a first home. so fun. we'll see if i'm still saying that in a couple of weeks.

quick note

so things are crazy right now trying to get everything together for the house. we are trying to finalize all the loan stuff to close escrow this friday, and we have to get all this info about the 8k federal tax credit and the 10k california state credit. we are also frantic trying to get all the sub contractors into the house to bid the job so we know what we have to do and how much it will cost.

once that is all done, we have to look at what we want to do, then throw half of it out because we can't afford to do it.

5 weeks from now, we will hopefully be moving into a house that at least is half done. and if we are really lucky, our kitchen will work. what a fun, crazy, exhausting process, and we haven't even started the work yet.

God is seriously so good. we are really excited to have a house and a place we can enjoy our friends, family and future little ones. it's a blessing and we will, despite all the craziness (or maybe because of it), relish this whole process.

i will try and write something of more substance soon.

the palms

so some friends and i went to a new eatery, new for me at least, in downtown carpenteria for dinner this monday night. it was a very interesting place.

it is a bbq place where you order your meat raw, and then you cook it yourself on an indoor bbq. if there are a lot of people, you have to wait in line for grill space. there is an all you can eat salad bar that come with ever entree that also has bread, potatoes and beans.

all the food was pretty good, and i got a filet mignon for 15 bucks, and it was a good cut of meat (cooked to perfection might i add).

but i couldn't get that episode of seinfeld out of my head where kramer comes up with the idea of having a pizzaria where the people make their own pizzas. seinfeld says it best: "why would anyone pay you to make their own pizza?"

seriously, why would we drive all the way to carpenteria to pay someone to let us use their grill to cook our own dinner? for the experience i guess. and, believe it or not, it was a good one. i would actually recommend this place (to go to once, maybe once a decade...you know, for the experience)

house stuff

all of my friends who have already gone through the wonderful process of purchasing a home warned me that this would happen, but i don't think even they, having gone through the process already, knew it could be this rough.

first of all, we looked for more than 18 months. i know lots of people look for a long time, but that is a little ridiculous. and it isn't like we were being really picky, maybe in the beginning we were, but for the last year we were pretty open to anything. anyway, we finally get a place and now there is so much paperwork and stuff it's crazy.

again, our friends warned us. we sort of had an idea of what we were getting in to. but again, this is ridiculous. our broker for our loan is on a skiing trip and we are freaking out at the list of fees due at closing. we just found out that this list includes buyers (us) and sellers fees, so the number we have to come up with won't really be that scary. sweet!

and all we are hoping for is enough money to do some (pretty extensive) remodeling, remodel enough equity into the house to get the pmi removed, and have a wonderful, comfortable home that we can entertain in and make the most of while we are living in it. is that too much to ask?

i think not.

ps- guys in my group who are reading this and who offered to help with the house...your first mission has arrived. i need to visit the place and weed whack the crap out of some weeds. then we will need to follow that up with the mower and then with some weed killer. i will talk to you tonight about when and stuff.

pps- for the duration of this rant, blood by the middle east has been playing in the back ground. tough to rant about something and be frustrated when such beauty is luring you away from those feelings of frustration. thank you Jesus for great music.

amen

top ten # 4

i have been thinking about this since my last list of my favorite ten bands of all time. while that list, as all my lists are, is subject to change without notice, it seems pretty complete at the moment.

so i have this list in my head of my favorite solo artists of all time. here you go:

10. jason mraz - while his sophmore album was a bit of a let down, i think he is finally finding his groove. and i am feeling it.

9. ray charles - older stuff = better stuff. check it out.

8. bob dylan - while i am not a crazy fan of his, and there are many out there, the things he did for music can't be taken away from him. he changed it.

7. jay-z - a rapper adam, really? well yes, and here's why. this guy puts stuff together that blows my mind lyrically. his beats are sic and he can flow like nothing. he has also solidified himself as one of the most influential, if not the most influential guy in the game. his career alone is enough to get him on the list.

6. johnny cash - this guy made great music until the day he died. god's gonna cut you down. amazing song. you should look it up. now. don't worry, the rest of us will wait for you to finish.

5. damien rice - it will be interesting to see what kind of music he makes without the help of lisa hannigan. but the stuff he made with her on his first 2 1/2 albums is legendary. yeah, i said legendary.

4. aretha franklin - mama can sing. seriously.

3. michael jackson - i think the only argument i'll get here will be that he isn't number one (or two).

2. otis redding - buttery smooth. one of the saddest stories the music industry has ever seen. he died far too young. thank God he got started early and pumped music out while he was working. so amazing.

1. ray lamontagne - crazy at number 1? maybe. but if i could sound like anyone in the world, it would be him...so there you go.

you will notice an amazing lack of estrogen on this list. if you know of some ladies i missed, please let me know. women who almost made the list: janis joplin, etta james, and billie holiday.

top ten #3

so this will be my list of my top ten favorite bands of all time. this will not include any solo acts, only bands. we'll see how this goes:

10. matchbox twenty - they may not appear on many people's top ten bands of all time, top ten on the 90s maybe. but i grew up in the 90s and they have a spot on mine. so there.

9. u2 - their catalogue and their impact on music cannot be argued with. seriously, don't try.

8. aerosmith - they continue to impress, putting out album after album of good rock music. i do think they peaked in the 90s, but their catalogue is impressive.

7. david crowder band - as the only christian artist i will put in and listen to exclusively, crowder and his tejas homies clearly have a spot in my heart, and on this list.

6. pearl jam - they started a revolution for goodness sakes. or maybe they just piggy-backed the nirvana revolution. i can never remember.

5. ccr - creedence clearwater revival. sick stuff that is just plain fun to listen to. get the lemonade out and enjoy your summer; creedence is here.

4. fleetwood mac - the harmonies, the era and some rockin lyrics make this band an icon.

3. jimmy eat world - i have all of their albums and they never cease to amaze. i know they are new. i know these higher spots on the list should be reserved for classic rock bands, because that would be the hipster thing to do, but i am no hipster. don't label me.

2. dave matthews band - their entire catalogue is pretty amazing and got me through my formative years.

1. sigur ros - while i found them later in life, i can honestly say that this music is like a religious experience. i have 13 albums, even bootleg EPs and they are all remarkable. there isn't a song in the bunch that i skip, and that speaks volumes.

a small detour

after 18 months of searching, we finally got a house. we started our search in the san fernando valley, looking first on the south edge of the valley (woodland hills, tarzana, encino, and west hills), then the north edge of the valley (granada hills, northridge and chatsworth). our search was fruitless and in exasperation my wife finally agreed to try looking on the east edge of simi valley.

after a solid week of looking, we found a great house. it seems as though the good lord wanted us in this area for some reason.

we open escrow this afternoon. we are really excited. i think i will post another list now.

top ten #2

yesterday i said that there may be another list coming today...and lo! it has arrived.

here are my top ten favorite songs of all time...maybe. this has always been a tough list to nail down, but here goes nothing.

10. ray lamontagne - hannah

9. beth hart - am i the one

8. damien rice - i remember

7. dave matthews band - pay for what you get

6. sigur ros - inni mer syngur vitleysyngur

5. jeff buckley - hallelujah

4. third eye blind - god of wine

3. fleetwood mac - the chain

2. counting crows - colorblind

1. bon iver - skinny love


post your list and we'll see what we get...

top ten #1

without realizing what i had done, i took pretty much the whole month of march off. i didn't even really do anything spectacular. my wife and i are waiting to hear if we got a house that we have an offer in on, so that is pretty exciting. but i wasn't on another continent or anything really cool like that.

because the last three weeks of my life were so humdrum, i don't really have any cool stories or rants. last night i was talking with my friend bailey and i told her that i would put a short list together of awesome songs i was listening to right now. we share a love for sigur ros, so we will often share a new song or band with the other.

anyway, i put together a list of my ten favorite songs right now. they are all pretty current (last year or two) and are by no means my favorite songs of all time. maybe that list will come tomorrow.

here we go, from 10 to 1 (plus a bonus number 11 because i couldn't have a list without sigur ros on it):

11. sigur ros - saeglopur

10. madi diaz - love you now

9. the temper trap - sweet disposition

8. local natives - sun hands

7. angus & julia stone - mango tree

6. jesca hoop - love is all we have

5. boy & bear - mexican mavis

4. great lake swimmers - your rocky spine

3. middle east - blood

2. kim talyor - anchor down

1. basia bulat - gold rush

this list is by no means exhaustive and could change within the hour, but will try and leave it alone for a while. you should check these songs and these artists out. many of these peeps could have had several songs on my list, but i tried to give more variety and so i limited them to one song for the list.

enjoy!

mtv had a pretty good run

so, mtv has basically been garbage for like the last 10 years or so. what started in 1981 as a revolution that took the music world by storm, mtv (which, for you young kids out there, actually stands for music television) now pretty much consists of poorly acted, mostly scripted "reality" shows about stupid people who should never make money and certainly shouldn't be famous in any way shape or form (see the half of speidi that doesn't look like a tranny - and his creepy flesh-colored beard).

with the creation of the real world in 1992, mtv began it's slow and steady decline to the gutters of television, and introduced the world to, what is now, the plague of modern man, reality shows and the annoying "stars" this movement brings with it. i keep waiting for people to stop caring about these morons, but it seems that the more moronic they are, the more people want to watch their circus of a life unfold.

but i digress. with mtv, our former source of music videos, now a cesspool of filth and venereal diseases, it seemed as though the music video was going to die with it.

but the fine fellows who make up ok go are trying to single-handedly keep people interested in music videos via the internet. if you are unfamiliar with ok go, they made themselves internet superstars with this clever video for their first single here it goes again. see video below.



well the group who made people care about the music video again (and built a nice career from the internet success of this one video) are back at it with another video that demands that the viewer watch to the end. and they are rewarded. wonder why their jump suits are colored, well wonder no more.

thanks to my friend lindsey at music ramen for this video. enjoy!

personal justice

in my small group last night, the topic of having a personal sense of justice came up. it was interesting so i will do my best to transcribe the story to you now and allow you to come to your own conclusion.

the story: a man has a son who is friends with a boy down the street. they spend a great deal of time together, but the parents aren't really friends. they are friendly with one another, but don't speak regularly and don't know what is happening in the others lives. while the boys are playing together, they often leave some personal belongings at the other boys house. neither set of parents has a problem with this until my friends boy leaves his bike at the other boys house.

a couple of months without his bike, my friends son realizes he should go get it so he can go on a bike ride with his dad. the other boys father answers the door and tells him the bike isn't there and that he is too busy to have to worry about this boys bike. he is a little rude to the boy, who is only 10 years old, but we think nothing of it. the boy goes home, borrows his mothers bike and rides with his father.

several weeks later, the father and son wish to ride bikes again. they go, together this time, to the neighbor to ask for the boys bike. this time, the man is more threatening and a little hostile. he insists that the bike is not in his possession and that they are disturbing him by coming over. he actually uses the phrase "i am not your sons keeper." great. he also says, "if you are looking for your bike, ask my son. he may know where it is." so they do just that and the boy tells them it is leaned against the side of his house, the very house the man just said he had searched, to no avail.

an hour or so later, the man leaves his home and my friend and his son walk to his house to peer over the fence and see if they can see the boys bike. they can, though it is in a state of disrepair. it is apparent that it has been run over by a car and no longer works. they open the gate, walk in and get the broken bike, and walk home.

the context: we were discussing men being men and my friend told this anecdote to ask the question, what does a warrior (read wild at heart and you will understand) do in this situation? i should clarify, we are not reading wild at heart, but an excerpt from the book came up in our prayer time.

so, i ask you, what would a passionate man who is following Gods call in his life and living the life of a warrior, the life of adventure, do in this situation? would he go back to the neighbor and confront him, show his sons that we are meant to defend our family and our stuff and be the Lords deliverers of justice? should he inform the man that he is taking him to small claims court if he doesn't replace the boys bike? should he demand that the man at least apologize to his son and show his son that things done in secret will eventually be brought into the light?

what if i told you that this man had just split with his wife? what if i said that his entire family had just left and moved somewhere else? his whole life had just fallen apart and he had just lost those he cared about most. i'm not trying to make him the victim. i'm sure he was at least half to blame for his marriage falling apart and the effects that will have on his children.

but what if all that were true? does it matter? why does our personal sense of justice depend on the circumstances of the others involved? are we willing to show more grace to someone who is more broken? what is the Godly thing to do, not the religious thing to do, but the Godly thing to do?

memory stepping

published 2007

Like hair that falls into the face, you
are impossible to ignore-my
tangled inconvenience just over
head, nine steps to the bed instead of
seven, weak as I am to walk it
alone. The room is larger, hollow
as a slaughtered cow, racked and hanging.
Or is that me? It's the raw pink that
distracts. The unfamiliar smell (sharp)

I have grown used to. Mosquito bites
beneath my feet make for uneasy
pacing. The lonely worm-wood floorboards;
infested. Memories, like maggots,
eat away at the rotting carcass;
grow more vivid with every step toward
the door. A clown-like mouth mocking me
walking the steps from it to the bed;
you looked so graceful on your way out.

stains

with only a couple of days left in black history month, i wanted to post a poem that i published 4 years ago. i wrote it in honor of one of the greatest poets of the 20th century, langston hughes. i hope you enjoy it.


stains
for langston hughes


you sang america
when white linens were washed with
lye.

now colors tumble dry
rather than hang
on a line.

sheets rode the wind
like pointed ghosts of past. stains
pinned with pride for all
to see. today
she wears them privately;
shamefully.

try to wish them gone
when they will not wash
gone

sleepily she recalls the text-
book tragedies of which you
wrote; half
on your side, half
her own. decades gone,

her hands still smell of
lie.

ejumakation

so last night i am sitting in what was, essentially, my last small group session with my senior guys. twice the topic of my views on the education system came up, but it is such a long rant, that i thought i best to save it for another time. odd that i feel that time is now, on the blog, where i will have to type the entire rant. not sure why i do this to myself, but here goes.

i will start with what i think is right with the school system: it does encourage learning and it is vital that we all be lifelong students. by student, i simply mean that we are in the process of learning something, not that we be enrolled in a school of some kind.

what schools do wrong is continue to funnel people into more narrow views of thinking and more focused fields of expertise that we are no longer creating smarter people, we are creating specialists in a single field. ryan said this in group last night, and i believe he is very correct, that higher learning is basically like a vocational school. this is true in that, once one reaches the masters level and above, school really only teaches you one thing. it makes you a specialist in one field, which, by definition, is a vocational school.

the ancient greeks had a very different view of schooling. they believed that we were to be lifelong students, always learning, always growing. we are also to be lifelong teachers, sharing the knowledge we have with those behind us on the journey of learning. this was so important to them that, even their olympic athletes were required to spend as much time learning about astronomy and math and philosophy as they were practicing their events. it was very highly regarded to be a well-rounded human being and i think our schools should do a better job at instilling that in our students.

my second problem with the schooling system is that creativity is regarded with such contempt and is often the first to go in the education system. when children are young, they are allowed to express themselves. kindergartens are full of art classes, and glitter, and music and things kids can use to express themselves in a creative way (at least mine was. sorry if yours wasn't that way. you really missed out).

as we grow older, those things are slowly stripped away (for the most part) and removed from the regular classroom. they are pushed into their own section of the schooling process and are often the first thing to go if a school goes through cut backs or has to tighten its budget. these elective classes are also regarded as secondary, even unimportant. if a child gets straight C's and comes home with an A in art, people rarely notice. these classes are expected to be easy and a child who excels in these areas is not regarded as highly as one who excels in math or science. even language is regarded as a second-class citizen when put next to math or science.

by funneling us into these areas and pushing the importance of certain disciplines over others, they are basically teaching us to be better students, not better learners or more intelligent people. i know i knew my fair share in high school, and i am sure some of you know people like this; those who get straight A's and have no common sense. they are simply good students. put them in a class room and they are albert einstein.

take them out of the class room and they are patrick from spongebob.

i know the einstein pictures doesn't really do justice to his level of intelligence, but you get the point. the idea is that, by creating good students, we are saying that the highest level of accomplishment is to become a college professor. now hear me out, i want to be a college writing professor, so clearly i'm not saying this is a bad choice of profession (either that or their brainwashing worked on me and i should be ashamed of myself), but i am saying that by teaching students to be the best students they can be, the ultimate destination is to then become the person doing the teaching.

in the real world, experience and practical application skills say more than degrees. my mom doesn't have her college degree, but she has 30 years experience working in human resources and will likely win a job over a book-qualified applicant with less experience.

so what is the answer? i think there are some newer schools out, and in my area, there are some magnet schools that are trying to get this right. they have a magnet school that focuses on engineering, or mechanics, or the arts, or languages for the children who have shown a greater aptitude in these areas. they foster the things the child is already gifted in rather than trying to force them to excel in the areas that our school system values. while these are great programs, i think they are too few and far between.

here is a video by sir ken robinson where he talks about just this subject.

the luckiest

is a quirky but great song about love. it was my song to my wife at our wedding. i hope that my love will always be so definite. my favorite verse in the song:

next door, there's an old man who lived to his nineties
and one day passed away in his sleep.
his wife, she stayed for a couple of days
and passed away

i'm sorry, i know that's a strange way to tell you that i know
we belong
that i know...that i am the luckiest

elegant. the fist wraps

my heart beats like wings, fanning
the fire - butane
blue - in your eyes. my pupils
burn like moths, eager to learn
the flecks
in yours. i am lost;

this visual lip-lock tastes like ocean
but feels like sand-
paper. my body cries,
my eyes perspire. funny
how sweat and tears conspire to feel

the same, taste
the same, look
the same. you

burn
elegant. the fist wraps
at the inside of my ribs, it begs
to be set free

in love with love

so i recently went to check the blog of a friend and was struck by the topic of a recent post. he claimed that love before a certain age or maturity level (kevin, please forgive me for paraphrasing so dramatically), was a waste of time. working with high school students (and college prior to that and junior high before that) i have heard this reasoning many times. oddly enough, it doesn't change very much from junior high all the way up through college. we believe that love, as an institution, is this thing that exists outside of ourselves.

"when will i find love?" as though it were something lost and in need of finding. love is a gift, but more importantly, i believe that love is a commitment. love is demonstrated to us daily by our maker. we mess up - he loves us. we reject him - he loves us. we cause him more pain than we could ever endure - he loves us. and out of this unconditional love, we see what love should look like.

i implore you, listen to this, if you rely on the feeling of love, you will forever be searching, and the search will leave you empty and alone. here is my response to my friends post (i am copying it in out of shear laziness, not because i fear i cannot duplicate the profundity of my original words):

believing that love is a commitment, not a feeling, i can easily say that someone who is young is more than capable of finding it in his or her self to make that commitment and choose daily to love a person. the problem is that we, as young adults or teenagers, don’t have the correct definition of love.

we wait for the feeling we mistake for love, which is merely childish infatuation, and when we find it, we call it love. we play at being adults until the feeling wears off, or the “love” gets hard. then we bail and leave a wake of broken hearts and baggage.

we desperately need to redefine love, not do away with it until a certain age. if you are mature enough to commit to something and see it through, even when it’s hard, then i think you are old enough for love. if not, then not.

so i encourage you in this - don't rely on the feeling. you could end up married with children and more alone than ever. look at our rate of divorce and infidelity. love is action. if you don't feel like you love your partner as much today as you did yesterday, do the things that show her you love her...even when you don't want to and your feelings will follow your actions. i promise. if you leave it to your feelings, you will fall out of "love" the same way you fell into it, and lives will be ruined.

if you are single, work on yourself. when you think you might be interested in someone (after getting to know him or her in social situations), make sure you are willing to commit before you ever even involve his or her feelings. that is how you start loving the person before you are even together, by protecting his or her heart and not subjecting it to pain if you are on the fence about your readiness for a relationship.

there is so much more to it all of course, and i would love to talk to any of you about specific situations, problems, questions or contentions. i believe there is a way to post comments anonymously, please do so. i promise to respond in a timely manner to the best of my ability. it is my desire to see people do love the right way, the way it was taught to us. we are flawed, and our love won't be perfect, but we should try.

gorilla manor

hey all. so today, i want to bring an amazing local band to your attention, the local natives, and their new album gorilla manor. i have been listening to these guys since airplanes hit the net about a year ago. the full length album is finally available on itunes. it isn't in stores yet (not even amoeba), but you can download it digitally, or order it from amazon.

this is what it looks (that pic you passed on your way to these words)

and you can stream the whole album here if you want to preview your purchase for longer than 30 seconds per song.

enjoy!

a haiku

pride worn like cologne
hi, my name is adam, i'm -
addicted to me

what does haiti mean

yesterday i was speaking about certain things being written on the hearts of humanity and, therefore, transcending religion. service was one of these things. i believe this wholeheartedly, especially now following the terrible disaster in haiti. it was the same after katrina and the same after the tsunami in asia. when the world faces a major crisis, creed and color become moot as people join together to help those in need. it is a beautiful thing to see and be a part of and i encourage all of you to do what you can now to help the victims in haiti. there are a ton of organizations in on the ground floor. two that i recommend are Children's Hunger Fund and Direct Relief International.

all of this to say that we are wired to serve. it makes us feel good, coming along side others and helping those in need. we are designed to do this. so don't wait for a disaster. find a place to help others: your local soup kitchen, a retirement home, a battered woman's shelter, your church, etc. where you serve is less important that whether or not you serve. encourage others to work with you. together, we can have a positive influence on others.

::stepping down from soap box::

have a wonderful day (it could be more wonderful if you take the time to help someone else today)

i'm just sayin'...

sigur ros and God

i have described the music of this band as spiritual on several occasions. i believe that there are certain things that transcend religion, because God wrote them on our very hearts. i think religions tap into this, but it is also possible to tap it without organized faith at all. i believe that service falls into this category, as do love and community.

there is a movement in western culture to be spiritual rather than religious. we believe that all paths to God are equal. following this reasoning, there is no need, then, for any organized religion at all. if all organized paths lead to God, then so should all unorganized, or personal paths. we then, with this mindset, cite our spiritual experience as example for the truth in our belief. "i loved unconditionally and helped someone in need, it was such an emotional experience."

i believe they are simply tapping into something God has written on our hearts, a desire or pursuit woven into the very fabric of humanity. it makes them feel close to God because it was designed to.

for me, as a christian, music never really fit into this category. worship did. but i believe that the above are also forms of worship and that we, as humans, are all designed to worship something. but the vessel for some acts of worship, specifically music, never held that power to transcend until i heard sigur ros for the first time.

now, after years of listening, i believe that some music can transcend religion and offer truly spiritual experience. if we follow this to its logical end, then one could conclude that music was also written onto the human heart. i believe that there will be singing and praise in heaven, and that somehow, music was given to us to remind us of the greatness of God.

i just hope our praise in heaven sounds something like this:

who will get your voice

i'm a music freak. it hasn't been fully demonstrated on this blog yet, but i have always been fascinated with the idea of lending your voice to those who may be unable to vocalize a thought, feeling, or emotion. it is what draws me to fiction writing. i have also dabbled in writing song lyrics, and had an amazing amount of fun in doing so.

in the aftermath of the horrible tragedy in haiti, as the country tries to put itself back together, i was again intrigued by this idea of lending ones voice to a group who cannot speak out for itself. it is in every commercial done by aid groups asking for money to help those in need in haiti. so i guess my question is this: who will get your voice? this is about helping people and speaking up on behalf of others.

will it be the outcast at school? one of your siblings who gets picked on by another sibling? the poor or homeless? the currently unemployed? single mothers? victims of natural disasters?

in a time when there are so many in need, many of whom are in our own backyards, who will we choose to serve? will we speak out on their behalf? will we plead with others to serve with us?

we can make a big difference now for someone, some group, somewhere. don't shirk your responsibility to your fellow man. give him your voice. speak on his behalf.

Concerning Coyotes and Other Pressing Matters

Concerning Coyotes and Other Pressing Matters

A pack was spotted

near the potted plants

in Mrs. Mann's back

yard. If you have kids, small

dogs or cats, it's important to note

they feed on these,

and please cover up your cans

of trash.

This just in, the Honky-tonk

Karaoke Classic has been upgraded

to a bonafied jamboree; courtesy

of Daniel Lee. Tickets are now

twelve dollars. Men who bring

their own beer

and women, half-price.

And congrats

to Mable Patz from mobile

park Eleven A. She won

our bingo bonanza yesterday

taking home a brand new plastic

grass backyard. Second

place went to her husband

Clay, so they also took

the decorative light strands

of Coors Light cans. Clay would now

prefer that he be referred to as Fancy

Pants!

Mr. Thompson lost his four

front teeth. It's been a week since

they were last seen, on the arm

of the plastic lawn-

chair that resides on the brown

spot beside his front "porch."

He has vowed not to

shoot on sight,

as his sign has warned, provided

his teeth are returned

unharmed.

Finally, the ice-cream-

social hosted by the activities

league of Park Four B

has been postponed

for reasons not disclosed

but they propose

that the following Tuesday will

do if the weather holds.

Thank you. The Management.

your inspiration

where does your inspiration come from? when you create, are you solely responsible for what you produce?

this video of a seminar by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat. Pray. Love., blew my mind. she talks about the pressure on creative people to create when society believes that it comes solely from the artist. her contention is a totally old way to view the creative process, but completely subversive to modern views on artists and their art.

enjoy!

the nerve of some people

a woman cut me off today

then flipped me off

because i was only going ten miles an hour

over the speed limit

she was on her cell phone at the time

and had to let go of the

steering wheel to offer me

her middle finger.

as she sped

away, i saw a silver fish

on the back of her car and a bumper-

sticker reading "DRIVING FOR JESUS."

i too am religious

so i said a quick prayer

that she wrap her car around a telephone pole

as soon as possible.

amen.